why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize