Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
