Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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