Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize