Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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