the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
