Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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