i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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