so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
