we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
