please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
