Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
