The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
