R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
