if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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