I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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