I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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