i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
