I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
