She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
How's work?
Spinning.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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