It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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