You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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