And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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