'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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