Ambien. No doubt about it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
