I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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