$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
NoShamevember. You game?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
