32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
