I got chris browned last night
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
