After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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