Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I love having hate sex.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
