Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
