Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Two words: blizzard sex
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
