Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
