South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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