Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
