That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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