i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
love makes seman taste better
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
