Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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