My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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