My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize