Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
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