My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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