He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
