Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
These tits shall not be calmed
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
