I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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