You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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