Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
