dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Shame - the story of my life.
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