Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
