Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
