margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
did you just send me my own nude
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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