I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
