Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
