dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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