Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
