So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
