Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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