Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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