sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
