I never want to see another naked old woman again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
