I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
and you fell through a lawn chair
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
