At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
